Back to blogging

Well the days go by and each day I have the intention of signing on and writing but life is pretty hectic and full for me at the moment. I am juggling three kids alongside attending sessions at Aprona each day and trying to help my husband by working from home whenever I have spare time (basically after kids go to bed!). Anyway I hope to continue my story and I go back now to our time in the UK. Below is an extract from my diary of a day that still sticks out in my mind - the day of the MRI scan:

Day 6 UK
An extract from my diary

Woke up bright and early today – my stomach was in knots. This was the big day. I prayed so hard. We parents make so many decisions and sometimes the responsibility is terrifying.

Two coffees later, we found ourselves in the paediatric ward of the hospital. We read through numerous text messages from friends and family all sending well wishes and love. These little messages are so wonderful, keeping us constantly aware of the love and support we have. The sky was blue and it was a crisp day – I was longing to go for a walk outside and stroll around with Talia in the pram

My husband and I watched everything and everybody like hawks – we watched the quantity of sedative etc. I was really quite anxious but tried to keep my façade of looking cool, calm and collected – inside I felt slightly sick and jelly-like. Talia was weighed and she is a total of 4.180 kilos.

We were taken into a room where a drip was placed into her hand – this was horrible to watch but luckily the doctor was so professional about it that it was soon over. Talia looked a sorry state with her arm all bandaged up. Luckily the sedative worked quickly and within minutes she was fast asleep. We were given a special machine attached ot her tiny thumb which gave us a reading of her pulse and oxygen absorption level. I watched the screen and refused to take my eye off it.

Seeing Talia sound asleep, the nurses managed to bring our appointment forward to 10am. I was allowed into the room with her during the scan and after answering a few questions I was allowed in. We had to lie Talia on the bed and cover her ears with special headphones. MRI scanners make a very loud noise and this is why Talia, myself and the nurse all had to wear headphones. The room felt cold and icy – thankfully, I had brought Talia’s snugly blanket.

The scan was, thankfully, over quickly. I just kept praying visualizing, my grandfather, great uncle and Guru watching over Talia and protecting her. She looked so vulnerable.

Now I’m back upstairs sitting next to my Talia waiting for her to wake up. I have never been so desperate for her to wake up before. The doctor has just come up to see us and says that he’ll get back to us later this afternoon regarding the results and how to take all this forward.

13:15 – Here we are still waiting for Talia to wake up – she is still sleeping and Andrew and I are a little nervous – her eyes are starting to flutter. My husband has just spoken to my mum and she is doing some ‘Om trayam bhagams´ ( Sanskrit mantra for Talia’s well-being and protection) with my sister in law. I really don’t like this sedation – I just want my smiling Talia awake again – she has been under 9ish.

21:00 Talia finally woke up around 16:30 much to our relief – we were worried we would have to stay at the hospital. What a day it has been, I am emotionally exhausted. Thankfully we are staying with my brother-in-law – its good to have supportive family around. My sister-in-law has just been a pillar of strength and has kept my other two girls busy – they have had a wonderful time – walks through the parks, playing with squirrels and sleepovers with their cousins. The doctor came back with the results and much to our relief there seems to be no gross damage. Despite the latter, he would like us to see a specialist neurologist in Harley Street tomorrow. Right now, I am so exhausted and need to lie and watch my baby.