Tália seems to have caught a chill and yesterday I was really very concerned about her. We went to my sister-in-law's for tea and whilst there I could hear Talia's chest rattling in my hands. I was pretty terrified - I know that by now after all the positive surroundings and literature I should be as calm as a cucumber but I still have a way to go. I was a little panicked as I really wasn't sure what to do. Weighing only 4.9kilos, I can't just take baby cough mixture out of the cupboard and give her a spoon, I need to be careful. Also would it be an exaggeration to take her to hospital - should she be getting extra oxygen? And what about the lactic acidosis and all that, I would need to explain to whoever was on duty and hope that they would know what to do. As you can see, my mind was not still. Anyway I decided when like that,you should do nothing but wait for some kind of sign ( a trick that I learned from of Monkeys and Dragons). So slowly I set off home on my own with Tália and left the other two girls with my sister-in-law.
The drive home was awful as Táli was crying and started to cough and choke. I felt useless, unable to do anything as I had to focus on the road. When I got home I decided to call Helicopteros Sanitarios as my mind cleared and I realized that driving to the hospital would probably traumatize Tália more. At least I could put Táli in bed and the Helicopteros could check her in her own surroundings - that way I would be able to ensure that she didn't have an infection or need oxygen.
Helicopteros saw Tália and said that she just had a pretty bad cold and lots of mucous in her throat but thankfully not in her chest. They told me to call them back if her breathing changed. Once they left, I sprinkled some holy water on her and listened to a tape on meditation. When my husband finally arrived back with the girls, Tália was kicking away and full of beans - thank God.
Saturday 30 August 2008
Money is an Energy
It is so difficult to balance everything sometimes. At present the market conditions in Spain are tough and my husband is working all hours. Sometimes I feel like a single mum – he goes early, comes back late and I feel as though he has missed the girls. When he’s around he’s fantastic but unfortunately he is also exhausted. I know that many a woman out there can relate to me and that’s why I am writing this.
My husband is a fantastic man and by working he is providing the family with bread and butter – he is thinking of us yet why do I sometimes feel angry?
My grandfather was a great inspiration to me – he worked up to his last days. His tale is a tale from rags to riches – he went from poor to very wealthy through his hard work. But one thing that has always struck me was that he really respected his family – he was always there for my grandmother – she came first – she was his goddess Luxmi and he often referred to her as his goddess. He always made time for her.
I really feel that people do need to work hard but I also believe that some out time is just as important – after all spiritual love and attention are much more lasting than material possessions. I also strongly believe that if you focus your attentions on your work but then also spend time with your family, the positiveness will naturally attract financial gain – by going into panic mode and running around like a headless chicken trying to close 101 deals, you achieve nothing. I don’t know why but in my heart I really feel rich and I really think that my husband needs to slow down and open his eyes and that this will help him to see more clearly the scope that we have. I believe in my heart that we will have the financial resources we need –money is just an energy and whenever we need anything, it just seems to flow but how does one explain this concept to someone else?
My husband is a fantastic man and by working he is providing the family with bread and butter – he is thinking of us yet why do I sometimes feel angry?
My grandfather was a great inspiration to me – he worked up to his last days. His tale is a tale from rags to riches – he went from poor to very wealthy through his hard work. But one thing that has always struck me was that he really respected his family – he was always there for my grandmother – she came first – she was his goddess Luxmi and he often referred to her as his goddess. He always made time for her.
I really feel that people do need to work hard but I also believe that some out time is just as important – after all spiritual love and attention are much more lasting than material possessions. I also strongly believe that if you focus your attentions on your work but then also spend time with your family, the positiveness will naturally attract financial gain – by going into panic mode and running around like a headless chicken trying to close 101 deals, you achieve nothing. I don’t know why but in my heart I really feel rich and I really think that my husband needs to slow down and open his eyes and that this will help him to see more clearly the scope that we have. I believe in my heart that we will have the financial resources we need –money is just an energy and whenever we need anything, it just seems to flow but how does one explain this concept to someone else?
Tuesday 26 August 2008
A whole new world
Yesterday was an amazing day. We went to see a well known author and healer in Malaga. The way the appointment worked out was just amazing; the universe works in mysterious ways. Amyn Dahya and his wife Karima were truly warm and welcoming and filled with love. I was so lucky and privileged to be able to meet them.
Amyn saw Tália and conducted a healing session with her. His first instinct on seeing her was that she was not a child with a grave illness but just lagging behind in her inner cell formation. He felt that we would be able to help her on this path by transferring energy to her via meditation and using holy water. We all (Mum, Dad, Amyn and Karima) meditated over Tália and some water for a few minutes. In this meditation, we visualised her healing ( Amyn explains this whole process of self-healing in his website.
Amyn asked us to use any affirmation we were comfortable with - anything we saw a s a source of life, albeit a religious figure or something more abstract such as nature or light. The important thing was that we had to use what we believed in, what we had faith in. In that room we all visualized different forms of this energy. The beauty of Amyn's method was that it was balanced, based on individual beliefs - you are not required to fit into ´somebody else's shoes', - healing is based on your innermost belief system and love. I mean even within our family, we all have different things that inspire us and different views of the source of life.
I felt very comfortable in this meditation as it is very much how my mother works too when counselling her patients (see her website). Also my belief system is that of ´Truth is one, paths are Many' ( a line taken from our late guru, Sri Swami Satchidananda) - and this same system was depicted in Amyn's work. In addition to this Amyn also gave us a special fruit and vegetable juice diet to aid Tália's cells to form and function - he has a copy of these juices on his website under his self-healing section. He also told me to keep a balance and to use both medical and healing together. I liked this balance. He also told me not afraid to use echinecea and to watch out for infection.
So now everyday I am giving Tália the holy (or magic as my girl's would put it) water. As for meditation - well I'm not brilliant at focusing so I focus on light and energy, repeat a mantra but also use my mum's deep relaxation CD, Flow with Deep Relaxation, to visualise the healing. She uses a white light to show healing and this imagery really works for me. We have been using this CD to relax Tália a lot - when her teeth hurt, when she had her lumber puncture and was in excruciating pain, when she is restless. The CD also helps my girls, my eldest in particular - it helps her to calm down before bed time - since she was a baby she's hated sleeping and has had night terrors, the CD helps her to sleep through the night. The whole process is also very healing for me as it helps to focus on healing and not destruction. One Dr here said to me, 'Your daughter is going to probably get worse and her illness will progress, so you need to deal with it and start changing your life'. The latter I saw as negative, particularly as we have no diagnosis yet. Regardless of what ´Táli has, one thing is for sure, our temperament, our energy and our moods definitely affect her so it is in her best interest to focus on the light.
Amyn and Karima felt like old friends - they did not charge us a penny - the do not charge for this type of work, they have a separate business to fund their living. We left their place with so much more than we entered, far richer than before - apart from an abundance of love, their generosity was over and above anything one could expect - they showered us with books and agreed to help support mum and work with her on projects.
These acts of kindness, humanity and love just show what humans are capable of. This kind of giving I have only seen from my mum and late grandfather, George Harilela, and here it was, that same spark from these incredible human beings.
These experiences show me how much people can make a difference and how they can change our lives. When watching nothing but bad news everyday, we lose these glistening beams of light. Amazing Really!
Amyn saw Tália and conducted a healing session with her. His first instinct on seeing her was that she was not a child with a grave illness but just lagging behind in her inner cell formation. He felt that we would be able to help her on this path by transferring energy to her via meditation and using holy water. We all (Mum, Dad, Amyn and Karima) meditated over Tália and some water for a few minutes. In this meditation, we visualised her healing ( Amyn explains this whole process of self-healing in his website.
Amyn asked us to use any affirmation we were comfortable with - anything we saw a s a source of life, albeit a religious figure or something more abstract such as nature or light. The important thing was that we had to use what we believed in, what we had faith in. In that room we all visualized different forms of this energy. The beauty of Amyn's method was that it was balanced, based on individual beliefs - you are not required to fit into ´somebody else's shoes', - healing is based on your innermost belief system and love. I mean even within our family, we all have different things that inspire us and different views of the source of life.
I felt very comfortable in this meditation as it is very much how my mother works too when counselling her patients (see her website). Also my belief system is that of ´Truth is one, paths are Many' ( a line taken from our late guru, Sri Swami Satchidananda) - and this same system was depicted in Amyn's work. In addition to this Amyn also gave us a special fruit and vegetable juice diet to aid Tália's cells to form and function - he has a copy of these juices on his website under his self-healing section. He also told me to keep a balance and to use both medical and healing together. I liked this balance. He also told me not afraid to use echinecea and to watch out for infection.
So now everyday I am giving Tália the holy (or magic as my girl's would put it) water. As for meditation - well I'm not brilliant at focusing so I focus on light and energy, repeat a mantra but also use my mum's deep relaxation CD, Flow with Deep Relaxation, to visualise the healing. She uses a white light to show healing and this imagery really works for me. We have been using this CD to relax Tália a lot - when her teeth hurt, when she had her lumber puncture and was in excruciating pain, when she is restless. The CD also helps my girls, my eldest in particular - it helps her to calm down before bed time - since she was a baby she's hated sleeping and has had night terrors, the CD helps her to sleep through the night. The whole process is also very healing for me as it helps to focus on healing and not destruction. One Dr here said to me, 'Your daughter is going to probably get worse and her illness will progress, so you need to deal with it and start changing your life'. The latter I saw as negative, particularly as we have no diagnosis yet. Regardless of what ´Táli has, one thing is for sure, our temperament, our energy and our moods definitely affect her so it is in her best interest to focus on the light.
Amyn and Karima felt like old friends - they did not charge us a penny - the do not charge for this type of work, they have a separate business to fund their living. We left their place with so much more than we entered, far richer than before - apart from an abundance of love, their generosity was over and above anything one could expect - they showered us with books and agreed to help support mum and work with her on projects.
These acts of kindness, humanity and love just show what humans are capable of. This kind of giving I have only seen from my mum and late grandfather, George Harilela, and here it was, that same spark from these incredible human beings.
These experiences show me how much people can make a difference and how they can change our lives. When watching nothing but bad news everyday, we lose these glistening beams of light. Amazing Really!
Saturday 16 August 2008
A Real Summer Holiday
Well its been a wonderful week - much of my husband's family have been over and the days have been filled with family gatherings - too much food, visits to the beach and pool and lots of fun. Basically my girls are surrounded by their cousins and having a ball, Tália is constantly stimulated by her loving aunts and uncles and thriving and I am just having the Summer I visualized, filled with lots of happy snapshots, carefree kids running in and out of my home and just pure focus on each day. No time to worry, not too much time to research, just time to be and being is a relief! I am also reading a beautiful book filled with positiveness and hope and I recommend it to anyone who is going through or has a loved one with any terminal or debilitating disease - 'Of Monkeys and Dragons' is written byMichelle Longo O´Donnell and is positive, uplifting and based on real life case studies.
In life it is good to be positive but sometimes we do get down, at the moment I am trying to strengthen my soul by reading positive literature and just looking around at the beauty around me and for now, until September, a little escapism from the medical world. I am a family person and being around my parents and all my extended family, my sister and brother in-laws and close friends makes me feel uplifted and this has a knock-on affect on my family.
We even took Tália and the girls to the water park in Algeciras - Bahia Park is fantastic for kids (and adults!!). Even Tália swam in the pools in her little rubber ring and had a ball. It was a fantastic day for all!
In life it is good to be positive but sometimes we do get down, at the moment I am trying to strengthen my soul by reading positive literature and just looking around at the beauty around me and for now, until September, a little escapism from the medical world. I am a family person and being around my parents and all my extended family, my sister and brother in-laws and close friends makes me feel uplifted and this has a knock-on affect on my family.
We even took Tália and the girls to the water park in Algeciras - Bahia Park is fantastic for kids (and adults!!). Even Tália swam in the pools in her little rubber ring and had a ball. It was a fantastic day for all!
Tuesday 5 August 2008
Insurance Mum
Well its that time of year when staff are off on holidays and my husband somehow managed to cunningly rope me in to helping out at the office whilst mum and Dad looked after the kids. So there I was this morning thrown in the deep end. It was manic - a juggling act between dealing with claims, giving out new quotations to problem solving and managing individual requests - between 9-5pm, I barely blinked except to jump out of the office to do a quick emergency 5 minute shop and grab a take-away sandwich before focusing on the task at hand - what a whirlwind!!! In the past, I would have been a wreck but today I really didn't feel stressed - I guess that everything with Tália has made me see things from a different perspective - so I did my best for each client.
I love the buzz of a business and the excitement of building one up but today made me realize that I have the best job in the world, being a mum to three beautiful kids. The change however was a good break (if you can call it that)! My husband and I ran the office together and the buzz in there reminded me of our first year setting up the business.
Anyway now I'd better sign off - as i am so tired........................................................tomorrow's a new day..................goodnight!!!!
I love the buzz of a business and the excitement of building one up but today made me realize that I have the best job in the world, being a mum to three beautiful kids. The change however was a good break (if you can call it that)! My husband and I ran the office together and the buzz in there reminded me of our first year setting up the business.
Anyway now I'd better sign off - as i am so tired........................................................tomorrow's a new day..................goodnight!!!!
Saturday 2 August 2008
A Fantastic Evening on the Beach
Its good to be back with my family - Barcelona was amazing and I absolutely fell in love with the city but I really missed my kids. However I do think that the break did us world of good. Tuesday's appointment would have been too much with three kids - it would have been hard to ask the questions I asked and also Andrew and I needed time to assimilate all the information.
Today has been lovely. This evening we went to the beach for my nephew's birthday. The beautiful cove in Estepona was ideal. Usually Talia hates the beach and screams when she sees and touches the sand. Today though, she loved the beach and she had her first little swim in the sea which, dare I say, was a hit. The sea was freezing but she was so excited and exhilarated. I love the water and also find it so therapeutic - I dive under and it seems all my worries disappear. Andrew and the other two were even in the sea at 9pm - it was the latest that the girls have ever been swimming and they were so excited.
Talia really enjoyed the experience and was particularly fascinated by the birds flying over the beach.
Today has been lovely. This evening we went to the beach for my nephew's birthday. The beautiful cove in Estepona was ideal. Usually Talia hates the beach and screams when she sees and touches the sand. Today though, she loved the beach and she had her first little swim in the sea which, dare I say, was a hit. The sea was freezing but she was so excited and exhilarated. I love the water and also find it so therapeutic - I dive under and it seems all my worries disappear. Andrew and the other two were even in the sea at 9pm - it was the latest that the girls have ever been swimming and they were so excited.
Talia really enjoyed the experience and was particularly fascinated by the birds flying over the beach.
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